Posted: Wed, January 09, 2013 | By: Hank Pellissier
When the nurse asks you to disrobe for a checkup… when the doctor inspects your organs… when the dentist invades your mouth… when the lab assistant stabs you for a blood sample… do you palpitate with sexual imaginings?
If you do, you are quite “normal” -
If the blue scrubs and metallic equipment offers a fetishist appeal to you - if your helpless feelings when you visit the hospital are accompanied by a tingling vulnerability…
Don’t worry… you’re just “white bread” because…
Naughty thoughts about our medical practitioners isn’t perverse… it’s pervasive!
My theory is this:
1. they’re curious about our bodies
2. they touch us, inside and out
3. they ask us filthy private questions
4. they accept our gross bio-functions
5. they cure us and rescue our lives
Isn’t this Foreplay!? And Love?!
A poll in Agency France Presse claims nurses are the #1 fantasy of British men, the object of desire for 54%. Women also dream feverishly about doctors, psychiatrists and dentists. Nancy Friday (feminist eroticist) has described the libidinous joy of “doctors fucking me on a table.” Clit-Lit often features dentists who are “filling more than cavities.”
Alas! Our “sick” fantasies about medical practitioners - from grizzled brain surgeons to nubile interns who want urine samples - are rarely consummated. We’re just “patients” to them; diagnostic problems to be solved.
But my prediction is… in the future… we might be… humping our healers…
The scifi novel Ecotopia - written by Ernest Callenbach in 1975 - foretold our erotic medical destiny. Arriving at a near-future California hospital with a deep wound, the book’s protagonist - William Weston - gets assigned to an attractive, affectionate nurse (Linda). She cares for him with a professional touch that includes stroking him until he orgasms. This “feel good” treatment isn’t clandestine - it’s “standard procedure” in the book’s promising vision.
My prophecy is different. I believe our medical visits might be lusty in 18-25 years - but our sessions won’t be with Humans… they’ll be with SexBots.
Why? Two reasons:
1. Dr. Droid. Trends point towards the rapid robotization of medical care. Advantages are numerous. Computerized machines don’t fall asleep with scalpels in their hands at the end of 36 hour shifts; they’re also never drunk, shaky, or malicious. Robots - diagnosing, cutting, and repairing us accurately - can work without rest, resentment, food, payment or bathroom breaks. Healthcare recently described ten robots that were breaking into the medical business, from plaque-scraping micro-bots to a mobile manipulator nurse, called Cody.
2. Customer Satisfaction. Sexbots will be seeping into the market shortly; first, for private use as an upgrade to blow-up dolls and dildos. Next, they’ll be available as prostitutes. Simultaneously, they’ll be programmed with additional skills - they’ll play chess and trivia at adjustable levels, they’ll cook, clean, teach foreign languages, etc. Eventually, their erotic services will be provided as a perk to consumers scanning the enticing benefits in competitive fields, like health care services.
Let’s face it - most people don’t like to go to the doctor or dentist. Especially men. Millions of lives are lost annually because people procrastinate with their health - they hope their emerging physiological problems will “just disappear.”
People need to be seduced into regular check-ups… so let’s provide a quivering award, with SexBots!
Here’s three ways sexbots can be used to make “sick leave” far more fun -
The Total Caboose - Imagine this, dudes. Your doctor who attends to your rectal health is a curvy she’bot who straps you face down with your legs spread for a prostrate exam and colonoscopy. After freshening the air with lime spray from her nipples, she divinely massages you, before gliding her slippery 18-inch techno-tongue into your anus. The techno-tongue (equipped with multiple apps) measures your prostrate gland and pumps it gently until a sperm sample oozes out, for analyzation. Proceeding deeper, the wiggling tongue adjusts your intestinal flora, and surgically removes all your polyps with localized anesthetics.
Dental Drilling with Hair Therapy - Lean back in a reclining chair, lowering your balding pate into warm water. The lovely/handsome lips of the dentist approach you, kissing you with mesmerizing skill. As you melt in the dentist’s mouth, the techno-tongue “Frenches” you with brushes, floss, and picks for immaculate oral cleansing. The probing, compassionate tongue also repairs all cavities it encounters - even root canals are drilled and crowned, aided by hallucinatory anesthetics. Simultaneously, your hair is trimmed, shampooed, conditioned, and transplanted with fresh follicles, if necessary.
Carnal CardioVascular - How’s your ticker? It’s healthy to know what your V02 maximum is, but boring to sweat on a treadmill. So… your Doc’bot gives you a “Rockefeller” instead, named after Nelson whose heart exploded gleefully in the arms of his mistress. Coital electrocardiograms performed by ethereally beautiful cyborgs accelerate your heart to total rapidity; long after orgasm, electrodes attached to your body are still ecstatically vibrating. If danger is discovered in your valves or coronary arteries, a door pop open in your sexDoc’bot’s abdomen - equipment spews out to saw you open, and strengthen you.
These three technologies might be accompanied by dozens of other robotic-erotic devises. Think I’m dreaming? Notice how fast the world is changing… did you envision 10 years ago that prominent Republicans would proclaim gay marriage an over-and-done issue?
Plus, admit it… The scenarios above sound enticing, right?
More fun than scowling nurses that smell like bedpans. Or pill-popping physicians with bloodshot eyes and scabby fingernails.
When we were youngsters, we “played doctor” because it was Fun… Let’s return to that early enjoyment.
Transhumanity.net articles on Sex Robots