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Sexy Time, Grinder Style - penile subincision, semen flavoring, genital implants, etc.

Posted: Tue, January 22, 2013 | By: Rich Lee



Imagine it is the future. Humanity has rid itself of the need to eat and sleep. They have methodically stripped themselves of every external dependence they once had, including the need to breathe. They have transformed into a new type of being and are difficult to distinguish from the creatures that proceeded them a mere 50 years earlier. There is one thing that they have chosen to keep. Something once thought of as base and revolting. Sex. They have lots of sex. It is good sex too; the kind you can only get in the future. Future sex is so good that now they reflect back on the mediocre and primitive sex their species had in 2013 and wonder why they even bothered with it. They view the people of 2013 in the same way the people of 2013 view the sad and hopeless salmon, frantically swimming upstream through a gauntlet of bears only to find a little patch of eggs in a pond. In the future humanity has abolished the death penalty and replaced it with 2013 sex.

Female Orgasm
Female Orgasm

Yeah, its that good. I’ve seen it in a vision and I can say with certainty that even the most prudish among us will want it. Once you have future sex you can never go back. Even in all of its glory, there was something in this vision that left me disturbed. 95% of the technology required to unlock the achievement of future sex exists now in 2013. Why were the people of 2013 depriving themselves of future sex?

Someone stole your orgasms. Don’t you ever wonder who?

In case I didn’t mention it, not all Grinders are Transhumanists. I have heard fierce debates about what constitutes a transhuman modification vs a merely novel modification. I’m of the opinion that this is a gray area, so I’ll just be presenting these projects as Grinder augmentations to sidestep debate. I warn you in advance: the things you are about to read will contain content not suitable for all ages. More seriously though, once you read this you can never unread it. When you understand the importance and profound implications of future sex it may ruin 2013 sex for you. You have been warned.

Typically, sex articles are written completely differently depending on whether or not your audience is male or female. Let’s start out with some basics that people have discovered in the piercing and body modification world. This is a community that can teach us much about adding pleasure to our sex lives. Tongue splitting obviously has its uses. There are several piercings that both men and women swear by like the tongue ring, nipple rings, sooo many different kinds of genital piercings, etc. I’ll recognize these, but we aren’t covering them.

For men, we will skip past the mild body modification and jump straight into slicing your penis in half (penile subincision). Know in advance that you will be sacrificing your ability to pee standing up, but in exchange you will be given a unique sensation. Once healed, intercourse is reported to have the dual sensation of simultaneously getting a blow job. I read through a lot of testimonials on this one and it looks pretty legit. Wait! Put the knife down! I failed to mention that this is a vertical cut, not a horizontal cut. Okay, proceed. See the wikipedia entry here (NSFW).

Next up fellas, we all know that things like size, money, and romance don’t matter anymore. These days it is all about the amount of semen you can expel. It just so happens that I have encountered (and verified) a method to turn the lowliest of lobbers into Peter Northian launchers of love sauce. The average man produces between 2ml-5ml of semen in a given ejaculation. 

This little trick will get you to 10 ml in no time:

* 1000 mg L-Arginine daily.

* 1 heaping teaspoon daily of soya lecithin granules (mix it into some yogurt or capsulate it yourself).

* zinc with added selenium. Don’t exceed the recommended daily dosage.

* Celery. This does nothing for volume, but it does add a nice pearly whitening effect

* Drink plenty of water

* Kegel exercises are helpful for distance

Rumors have been floating around for a while now about a method to flavor semen. I heard about a biohacker who claimed to have produced a bacteria which caused semen to have the sweetness of corn syrup. The theory is that introducing the bacteria into your testicles would cause you to sweeten your semen while it is still inside of you. I am still not sure if this was a real project or if it was a brilliant trolling of a biohacker chat. It seems feasible though, so I thought I’d give it a mention here. Please leave input in the comments if you have more insight.

For the ladies, consider a neodymium genital piercing or implant. The neodymium finger magnet implant is like a rite of passage among Grinders. If you haven’t heard of it before you can go here to check it out. The fingers are one of two (debatably 5) places where the nerve endings are rich enough to make the buzzing of the magnet detectable. The other place, of course, is the genitals. Body modification expert Steve Haworth recently mentioned to me that many female clients have reported a really nice buzzing sensation when they have a notebook computer on their lap, making masturbation on the go a little more discrete for a change.

Okay, time for some future sex! My most infamous project is an implant called the Lovetron9000. It is a subdermal adult vibrator that is installed directly above the penis in the pubic fat pad. The device gets put into a special encasement which can be textured with studs or ribbed like a Klingon forehead. The vibrations are sent through the shaft of the penis creating a pleasant sensation for you and your partner. The unit uses an inductive charging method, so don’t worry about having to cut yourself open to change batteries. This is a simple grind that will sure make you the lord of the barflies.

This project has encountered several engineering and design setbacks. I’ve broken 6 prototypes. The extreme abuse and violent vibration have been difficult to accommodate. I’ve tried a “rabbit ears” type configuration, dual motors, pancake motors, pvc housing, cold cure acrylic housing, and there are advantages and disadvantage to these. I’m not an engineer, so the project has been a casual series of trial and error. Since all of our projects are open source, I’d appreciate any engineering guidance or assistance. I have had a lot of inquiries and interest in this project and I promise that the person who can develop a working prototype will have their fair share of infamy. I already have bioproofing and installation experts who have graciously volunteered to help in those areas. The project is in a thread that can be found here.

If there is one thing that history has taught us, it is that men are the best designers of female gynecological appliances and products. Nobody knows why that is, but I thought I’d contribute to the legacy and design a Ladylovetron9000. Basically, this is a pair of tiny cylinder vibration motors that are inserted into both sides of the labia majora. An electromagnetic attraction occurs upon activation between the two buzzing motors, gently pinching the clitoral region between them. This project needs a healthy dose of female feedback, as well as engineering help.

Sure, this is all fine and dandy, but what if you don’t currently have the sex drive required to entertain the thought of installing a Lovetron device? Are you a person who finds it difficult to get into the mood? You certainly aren’t alone and help may be on it’s way. A compound was developed a while back for female arousal. Actually, the arousal part was an accident. It was originally intended to be a tanning pill. What the nitrous oxide effect does for men, PL-6983 and PT-141 does for women. It works on men too, actually, but it doesn’t work on a vascular level like the NO products do. This one goes straight for the nervous system, putting you “in the mood” much easier. This is potentially big news for millions of women. If I didn’t mention it earlier, there was a conspiracy against your orgasms. The companies who own the patents on these have no intention of selling them as sexual stimulants at the time of this writing. They don’t need to, as the product can easily be found on the black market labs and pharmacies of the web. As with all drugs, there were certain side effects to consider before snorting a line of PL-6983 or PT-141. After reading through the trials, I have personally rated it within my risk tolerance level and would be willing to do some independent studies of sorts.

Tragically, some men and women cannot have orgasms at all. This can be for many reasons. Male circumcision has left many men with a lack of sensation. Fortunately there is now a way to reclaim that foreskin in the comfort of your own home. One solution to orgasm loss for both sexes is a spinal stimulation device. “The Orgasmatron”, as it has been nicknamed, was developed by Dr. Stuart Meloy. Essentially, this is a tiny strip of electrodes that is inserted into the epidural space of the spine (Maloy’s device has much in common with a deep brain stimulator). A function generator is used to send pulses up the spine in the same way genital stimulation would normally deliver signals to the brain. This means that even people paralyzed from the waist down can experience orgasm at the flip of a switch. The word on the street is that females experience both clitoral and vaginal stimulation from this implant. The device can also be used to give orgasms to the dead. Thats right, they don’t tell you this stuff in the brochure but it can be done. I think this is an overlooked upsell opportunity for cryonics companies like Alcor.

I’ve illustrated in the past how Grinders have a knack for hacking things at a fraction of their regular costs. I won’t put a price tag on a home brew version of this, but I will say that it will be cheap. Giving an epidural is a dangerous task, but an anesthesiologist friend of mine said that he thinks most trained professionals could be persuaded to do the procedure for a $100 off the record, depending on how sketchy the situation was.

We are about to complicate things, so hold on tight. I love these spinal devices but I think they are overlooking their full potential. First off, the same device could theoretically be used to control male orgasm by disrupting the normal signals going to the brain. This might allow men to go the extra mile, if they choose to. Second, did I mention that this device could be calibrated to deliver extremely intense orgasms? The electric stimulation actually engages more muscle contractions and stimulates more nerves, thereby giving you intensity levels that you might not have not experienced before. Thirdly, electric signals in the spine could be read via EEG or other monitoring technology and calibrated to determine the “point of no return”. Wireless data can be sent to a smart phone. Linking two devices together is where the magic might happen. For example, lets say that I am engaged in intercourse with a woman and she is beginning to climax. The info from her implant might be sent to my implant wirelessly. My implant would respond by disrupting my flow, ensuring that my partner could climax before I did. If lovers wish to climax simultaneously that could be done too.

You could theoretically create some strange feedback loops where data from your partner’s pleasure was fed back into your device, then fed back into your partner’s device, back to yours, etc, creating a super sensitivity of sorts. I imagine hive mind orgies being played out like this remotely via the internet. Interactive pornography and sex chat sessions could be interesting too. All of these sessions could be recorded and played again at a later date. Friends could be granted permission to receive live feeds of your sexual pleasure and experience all of the same satisfaction that you get from that one night stand. Pair this up with some audio and video feeds and you have a recipe for amazing future sex.

You can also get into some bizarre stuff, like programming your orgasms around random everyday tasks like finishing a report for work, scoring kills on video games, or brushing your teeth. The possibilities are staggering. One thing is certain: Once you have future sex it will be difficult to go back to 2013 sex. You are only getting a fraction of the sexual pleasure that you should be right now.

This technology has so much potential and it all exists right now. Why aren’t we having future sex?

Transhumanity.net Articles on Bio-Hacking, Grinding, DIY, etc.

“If Eternal Life Becomes a Medical Possibility, I Will Have it, Because I am a Tech Pirate”

Humans with 500 IQ Who Live 500 years? Interview with Tim Cannon (BioHacker / Grindhouse Wetwares)

Release Your Inner Cyborg with BrainStimulation Implants - can Grinders drive the Research?

Grinders, the Practical Transhumanists

Dave Asprey Interview- what is BioHacking, Bulletproof Executive, and Coffee

BioHacking - You Can Do It Too (Ellen Jorgensen, TEDTalks)

Sexy Time, Grinder Style - Penile Subincision, Semen Flavoring, Genital Implants, etc.



Comments:

Regarding semen flavoring:  That approach is theoretically possible, but your immune system will probably destroy your testicles if the bacteria don’t.  The two criteria that define pathogens are toxigenicity and invasiveness, and you just saved them from having to be invasive.  If this bacteria generates any toxins at all - including large quantities of mere metabolic wastes - I recommend this approach only as a transition to life extension via castration.  wink

Maybe if you could find a biochemical pathway for synthesis of ... something (banana oil or strawberry aldehyde spring to mind as simple, pleasant-smelling agents, but others could work too!) fit it all into a relatively safe viral vector (adeno-associated-virus springs to mind) and inject it into the seminal vesicles or prostate via biopsy, you could achieve that goal.  Semen is alkaline, but most fruits are acid, so you’ll probably never get citrus-flavored semen to work.

The vaginal environment tends toward acid, though - ladies shouldn’t find it too hard to get the citrus thing going by comparison to gentlemen.

By Chrontius on Feb 01, 2013 at 5:08pm


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